back to black
by conformistcandie
Summary: when stan is all alone, he must stand up to his fear and fight back! with a little help form some old frends it might just be posable.
1. Chapter 1

Back to black

**Warning:** language, child abuse.

I do not own South Park. If I did I would not be living in north wales :-)

Ow and please be nice to me it is all new to me and I am trying, one more thing is my spelling, please can you pick us

up on it (if I go wrong that is)

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Chapter 1. breaking dawn

Stan's POV

I can't sleep.

It is most likely because I drunk all that coffee before bed.

Well there is nothing I can do but wait until I fall asleep.

I woke to a chill sprinting down my spine, which made me shiver all over my body, I sat up and got all my normal clothes and slowly dragged my feet out my door and slipped down the stairs.

''stanly marsh get in the fucking kitchen now!''

''yes dad''

All of a sudden I got the same shiver that I got when I awoke, but I scuttled into the kitchen all the same.

''what fucking time is this?''

''it is 8.30'' in the tired tone that still had not left me.

''are you being funny with me boy'' he sead coldly

''no sir'' I sead quietly

''yes you are''

He leaned into my face and got the smell of fags and alcohol on his breath and it made my face flinch a bit.

''I am not dad I swear to you I'm not''

He leaded back from me and lifted his hand and I braced for impacted, his hand came down hard into my face and I yelped at his punch which made me him the floor with smack.

''get up you pussy it was just a slap in the face!'' he shouted at me.

''get to fucking school before you are late'' and walked out the room like nothing had ever happened.

I got up and ran to the door with my hand on my face, I shut the door and ran the bus stop where we always went.

God I wish that mom was here to sort this all out, but she was dead, she had died in the car with me and her at the time, but that is not important, all there Is me, shelly and my dad. my dad beat me most days because he is a drunk (ever since mom died) and shelly doesn't care about me, when has she ever cared.

And that is all it is now, this has been my life since 4th grade and I'm in 10th now and I still cannot understand why he is doing this to me.

I got to school not talking to anyone, Kyle did try to start a chat but I was not up for chatting right now.

Class was a drag, English always was for me, but when the bell went at last I got up out of my seat not saying a word to anyone and walked out in to ally way of the school to light a cigarette for myself. I slid down the wall slowly and I could not help but let tears well up in my eyes, I tuck a big drag of my cigarette and stated to cry.

''look at that that, another torched soul'' even sead in his dark voice.

''raven?'' Henrietta

''hay'' I sead wiping away my tears.

''what is wrong?'' she asked.

''Nothing'' taking a drag from my fag.

''come with us'' even sead

i got up not saying a word.

When they all sat down where they always sit when in school, I felt crying agen but held it off but stuck his hands between his head and sighed instead.

Dylan felt like saying something but did not know what to say, they all did.

After a long while Dylan finally stud up

''come on let's get the fuck out of this school. Henrietta can we go to your place of a bit?''

''yer shore we can, it is not like my conformist bitch of a mom cares''

''come on then'' Dylan sead lifting his finger towords the gate to the school.

''come on raven you are coming with us'' Henrietta sead

''must I'' I sead like a 9 year old.

''YES!''

''ok''

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And I am going to end the chapter there and for anyone who does not know the names of the Goth kids:

Everyone knows Henrietta (the fat Goth)

Dylan is the red Goth

Even is the tall Goth(or the curly Goth)

And georgie is the kindergoth.


	2. Chapter 2

Hay this this is the next chapter for you

I do not own south park:-p

Chapter 2. spill the oil

When they got to Henrietta's house they all went upstairs and into her room.

They all sat down on the floor and bet and lit up a new cigarette.

''so why are you so sad raven?'' Henrietta asked calmly manna

''nothing really'' I sead trying cover up my real feeling.

''don't lie to me raven'' still calm

''you are a shit fucking lire you know'' even sead

I hung my head in shame and admitted defeat.

''ok. You win. I have been feeling very alone lately, Kyle does not speak to me as much as he did, I don't think he is even my best friend anymore. Kenny does not speck much to anyone so it is not just me it is everyone. Cartman cannot stop taking the piss out of me for whatever reason. And the most important is that my dad is hitting me more than normal, probly because he is drink more, asshole'' I muttered the last word.

''so what are you going to do about it'' even sead.

''I don't know''

''fight back!'' Dylan shouted at me.

''have you seen the size of my dad?'' looking like he had just hit me himself

''if he can give a punch he can take one''

''no he will fucking kill me'' looking depressed

''no one fucking hitting no one, there is too much of that going on already, you will make it worse!'' Even sead to Dylan in a snide voice.

''sorry I was only trying help'' Dylan sead feeling more sorry for himself than he normally did.

''well first things first we have to get you out of them conformist cloves, all the bright colour is giving me a head ach'' Even sead in the most gothic voice possible.

''I have not got any black cloves in my closet and I don't have any money to buy any''

Don't you worry about that I will give you some of my old cloves that I have that don't fit me anymore, you can have them'' Even sead

''we can to my place after now if you want''

''shore''

''come on then'' picking up his cane and trench coat.

I stud up and started to walk towards the door, Even did the same.

''see you later'' he sead shutting the door

''bye!'' female voice from the inside shouted.

And with that we were back out to the cold south park streets but before I know it I was back inside up the stairs and in even's room.

'' Try this on raven ''

I tuck of my t-shirt to see Evens eyes widen at all the bruises on my chest, stomach and hips.

'' what the fuck raven!'' shouting at me in shock.

''it looks worse than it is trust me''

''no dude, that is bad''

He put his hand on my ribs and I cried out in pain

''arrrrr. Dude!''

''don't lie to me then'' he sead with no sympathy for me.

''sorry'' I sead quietly

''don't be'' he sead looking away from me hurt

''what is wrong?''

''you think you are the only one who has ever been beaten by his fucking dad, my dad did everything your dad is doing to you right now. Ever since my bitch of a fucking mom pissed off with some druggy my dad started drink heavily and blamed it all on me that she went!'' almost in tears

''dude I am so sorry''

''I sead don't be. No one has ever cared about me before, why should anyone care now''

I put the shirt he gave me on and he gave me some pants as well with a studded belt, gave me some of his eye liner and he black pray painted my hat like last time.

''that looks better'' he sead in some sort of cheerful voice.

I looked in the mirror to see how I look and I was happy with I was looking; it reminded me of the good old days.

''raven can you come over hear''

''shore what's up'' the first time I had been happy in a long time.

''I just want to give you this''

Holding out a switch blade in his hand

''ow what the fuck is that for?'' shocked stiff where I was standing

All for a sudden he looked more serious than ever

''I want you to take it. If things get out of hand. Think of like a last resort. You do not have to kill him just jam it into his leg, that's what I did''

I tuck I of him slowly thinking about not tacking it but when I do then about it is just for keeping myself safe, what is so wrong with that and on a plus I can shit Eric up with it if he piss's me off.

Ok thank you. Please drop a comment; I need to know if I am doing alright and if there anything you want in it that I could add to my story that would be cool thank you agen xx :-


	3. Chapter 3

Ok thank you for reading my story. Please please drop me a review xxx

Chapter 3

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Me and Even walked back to Henrietta's house, trying look away from the people that just had to stop and stare at us.

''what the fuck are you looking at you fucking conformist Justin wana bees''! Even comes across the person you can hang with but do not (if you want to live) fuck with him.

We kept on walking until we got to Henrietta's house, when we got in Dylan, georgie and Henrietta were all still there all smoking cigarettes like they always did.

''hay'' I sead shyly.

''how do I look?''

''wow'' is all Henrietta says

''he looks the same as he did when he was last Goth'' georgie sead in his tired gothic voice.

''thank god that even got you out of them stupid conformist cloves'' Dylan sead tiredly.

And that is all they sead for a while…

''what time is it?''

I sead to try and brake some of the silence.

''3:30'' Dylan sead looking at his phone that probly could not get much more Goth.

''I better go my dad will be expecting me''

''will you be ok?'' Even sead

'' yer I will be fine''

I taped on the bulge in my pocket

''ok''

And with that I walked out the house and into the street once more.

I kept on walking down the street when I coincidentally saw Kyle walking the opposite way

As Kyle looked up from his eye-pod, he did not cear at first but then he tuck a second look at me and then recognised me behind all the make-up and that is when his jaw dropped.

''fuck is that you Stan?''

''Yer why''

''what the hell have you done to your-self?''

''what now Kyle are you going to start moaning at me because of the way I look. That would be good at lest you are paying me some sort attention to me!''

''you know I fucking hate pussy Goths that are always feeling sorry for themselves, it is just fucking prophetic and I am paying you attention''

''when. You have spoken to me in weeks''

''this morning on the bus to school, I tried to start a convictions but you just did not listen, when did you ever listen to my problems, it is always about YOU all the time, do you cear about anyone but yourself you selfish prick!''

At that I tightened my fist and punched him in the jaw to shut him up, he yelped and hit the floor, I jumped on top and punched him all over the face, and all I could hear was my best friend scream out in pain. He pushed me of, he was still yelping out in pain, I stud up

''you have brought all this on yourself asshole, you just had to open your fucking mouth didn't you!''

Blood was dripping out of my knuckles and I had little spots of Kyle's blood on my face where I had broken his nose. I walk over to the Jewish boy on the floor, he looks up at me

''st..st..stan i… im ssssorry'' Kyle got all his word out in a stutter

''To late'' I sead evilly

I turned my head to see a big stick on the ground and I picked it up.

''st..stan what aare y yyou doing wwith the that stick?'' the Jewish boy stuttered once more

''silencing you'' I sead coldly

I brought the stick down on Kyle and listened to him cry louder than ever before

Kenny happened to see this and hear all of it because he lived two doors down from Kyle, Kenny ran out and grabbed Stan from behind to restrain him from doing any more damage to his best friend, I got a good kick in on Kyle before Kenny had the chance to pull me away.

I dropped the stick on the floor to try and concentrate on getting Kenny of me, when I calmed down Kenny let me go I turned around to shout at the blonde.

''what the hell did you drag me away for?!''

''why, have you seen what you have just done to Kyle!''

''yer, he deserved it'' is sead coldly agen

With that I turned away and walked home.

Kenny's POV

I walked over to Kyle that was still on the floor spitting out blood and in a lot of pain still, it was very cear, to clear.

I walked past the stick that was covered in blood and as I walked up to Kyle became clear the damage that he had done, I was quite scared of Stan now I have seen what he has done to Kyle's face; he has hit him in the check and slit that wide open, from all the punches to the face has ether popped his nose or broken it, and he was spiting and coughing up a lot of blood from all the kicks to the stomach.

''Jesus dude are you all right''

''do I look alright?''

''not in any way dude''

''why would he do this to me?'' which was followed by a coughing fit which led to more blood on the icy path.

''I don't know dude .come back to my place and we can get you stitched you, my mom knows first aid''

''ok, do you mind helping us up?''

''shore''

''all I can say Is was one of the coldest things I seen in a long time''

Stan's/raven's POV

I walked down the road for a little while I stopped stud there for a moment and burst into tears, I was turning into my **dad**, of all people my dad, the drunken prick that cannot even stand up propyl half of the time.

''what have I done'' gilt filling my body.

I had no choice but to cape on walking home to person I never wanted to become.

I walk the door to see my dad standing right in front of me.

''what time do you call this you little shit and what the fuck are you wearing you look like Marilyn fucking Manson. I got a call from your school today saying that you were in first lessen of the day but you were not in for the rest of the day, not that I give a fuck like''

''I know that you don't cear, don't have to reminded me''

''don't you fucking dare speck back to me you little fuck!''

Once agen he brought his hand down on my face and I fell to the floor with a thud.

Randy smashed the beer his bottle on the table

''speck back to me agen you little shit I dare you''

Feeling angry at myself from earlier I had to say

''I fucking dare you asshole!''

He looked at me in shock and then turned to complete anger, he brought the sharp bottle down on my face diagonally down from the top left of my fore head right down to the bottom right of my chin.

I scream out but stud up and run up into my bed room and slammed the door shut.

I heard my dad scream and shout and chuck some stuff around the living room and then it went silent.

I put my finger on the gash in my face, it stung like hell and it was a miracle that he did not hit my eyes, I fell asleep crying that night wishing my mom was here to look after me I just felt so alone.

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Thank you for reading please review and yes I was very heavy shit right there, and I'm sorry to any KYLE fans out there, it will get better in later chapters, but which one you will just have to keep on reading won't yer :-p xxx


	4. Chapter 4

Ok guy this is chapter 4. I am going to you guys a warning now Stan get very depressed in this chapter so this is a SELF HARMING warning.

Thank you and this is chapter 4. Enjoy :-)

Chapter 4

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I woke you in the middle of the night feeling the cold creeping in from the window; I looked over to the clock on my bed side to see what time it is…

6.00 AM

I did not see the point in going back to sleep I would be up in an like hour so I might as well get up out of bed and start getting ready for school.

I turned on my bed room light to see what I was doing, it hurt my eyes at first but I got use to the light in about a minute or two.

I was about to get my normal cloves on when I realized that I am not even in my normal cloves, then it came back to me that I was wearing the cloves that Even had given to me.

I went into my bed room closet and pulled out a body mirror so I could see what I looked like from head to toe, I looked at my new shoes first which looked shiny so I did not have to clean them or anything.

My pants and t shirt was ok at well considering that is had was sleeping in them last night.

Then I looked back up to my face and I saw the big slice and last night's memories came flooding back to me and it hit me like a shock wave.

I sat down on my bed starting to weep agen, it was so hard to try and forget something when it is was deeply imbedded across my face.

I stopped crying and sead to myself that I will make the best of my day and I will try and be happy.

I got some of my mom's old make-up from the bathroom because I am not going to try and take some of Shelly's make-up, if I woke her up and she saw me trying to take some of her make-up she would KILL ME.

I redid my eye liner and I put a little more White foundation on, I cleaned my teeth and straitened my hear and put my black puff ball had back on.

When I got down stairs no one was up so it was still black, I did not bother sticking on a light I could see by now, it was black but there was just enough sunlight pecking thought the windows that I caught see what I was doing.

I did not bother having breakfast, I was not Hungary.

When I got out into the street I got my cell-phone out of my pocket and looked thought my contacts to see where I had put Dylan's number.

When I found it I hit the call button on the left and the deil tone stated, it only tuck a couple of seconds and he answered.

''sorry if I have woke you dude but can I meet you at yours in five?''

''shore'' he sead tiredly

''I am a light sleeper anyway''

So it was decided, so I walked down to Dylan's house.

When I got there I knocked lightly on the door not wanting to wake anyone else in the house.

Dylan answered the door and let us in, he looked up and his eyes widened and he insinuated 'get up stairs now' type of thing, and I just did as I was told.

We got up stairs into the hallway and into Dylan's bedroom, when Dylan had closed the door and turned to me dramatically.

''what the hell has happened to your face?''

''it was my dad'' is all I could say, I could not lie (what would I say)

''yer I thought I would have been''

He came in for a closer look at my gash

''Jesus dude what are you going to do about it?''

''nothing'' looking at him puzzled by his question

''you cannot let your dad get away with that''

''what do you want me to do hu…stab him…kill him…get him put in jail. Well it just won't walk because one way or another I will come back to bite me in the ass'' I was getting frustrated agen, not with Dylan, but with myself, It made me angry at the fact that I could not give my prick of a dad everything he deserves.

''I just want to let it heal and get on with my life''

Dylan looked like he was going to punch me after I sead that

''what?'' almost shouting

''why can't you just drop it here right now''

''have you seen what he has fucking done to you''

''yes I have seen what he has done to me, and it was my fault anyways''

''dude no one deserves that, what he has done, no matter what you did''

''well apparently I do, or he would not be doing this to me would he?''

I was fed up of specking about it.

''come on we are going to be late for school''

''you can't go to school in this state, look at you'' he sead trying to stop me

''well I am going, and you can't stop me''

I was heading for the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder pull me around, I was going to shout at him but it was to late he had already jammed his lips onto mine.

We must have been kissing for about a minute when I came to my senses and pulled away

''wow'' is all I could say because I was in complete shock.

He looked me in the eye

''if you are going to school today then let me look after you''

''I can look after myself''

''well then let my stay with you''

''fine''

He smiled and flipped his hair out of his eyes

''come on then let's go''

On our way to school people still having to look at us weirdly

''hay, what are you looking at you conformist cunts!''

All I could do was smile at his comment and flip them off myself.

Dylan pulled out a packet of cigarettes and offered me one, I tuck it, he got one out for himself and gave me his lighter, I lit it up and tuck a deep drag.

When we got to school I hadn't walk into school gates and people were looking and lathing at me, not just because of the cloves but because of the unmissible cut going down my face.

I got into the corridor and it just felt like everyone in the school was looking at me, infect I was shore that they were.

''hay it is not Halloween yet you fucking freaks!''

Someone shouted that from across but I did not know who or I would have sead something back to him.

''I will see you in our next class Dylan I have English now''

''ok. See you raven''

I turned and walked away, looking down at the ground but that did not stop people lathing at me all the way to class

When I got to class I tuck the back seat so no one could make more fun than they had to, when everyone else had taken their seats the lessen could begin.

After a while I had stated to drift away from school and stated to think about much better life would be with my mom around.

''Mr Marsh would you like to come up here and explain to the class what I have just sead?''

I snapped back into reality and sucked in what the teacher had just sead to me

I stud up and walk slowly to the front of the class, making the floorboards creek under my big heavy boots, I ran my fingers down the desks of other people making paper and pens crash to the floor.

''what are you doing you freak'' is all that I got from people that had lost their pens to the dusty floor.

I stud up in front of the class and gave everyone a look of discussed and they did likewise.

''so Mr mar''

''don't call me marsh, that is my dad's name and I will never be like that prick!'' cutting the teacher off mid speck.

''get to the principal's office now!''

''fuck you!''

I turned towards the door and left without another word, I continued down the corridor until I got to the boys toilets, I went in, then went into a cubical, i went into my bag and pulled out my pencil-case and got a plastic sharpener out and stamped on it, it was so simple because of the boots, it shattered into lot of little pieces, I picked up the small razor up from the floor.

I rolled up my left sleeve and put the razor to my skin, I thought about everything that my dad had ever done to me and ran the blade fast over my wrist and blood started seeping out in seconds.

I watched my blood drip onto the floor and I moved up my arm to start a new cut, every time going just a little deeper.

When I was done I put the bloody razor into my pocket, then I looked down onto the bathroom ground to see way to much blood on the floor, but i did not care at all how much blood I had lost.

I stud up to see Kyle standing in the doorway of the cubical where I was sitting to do it.

''what are you doing to yourself?'' sounding like he was going to burst into tears.

''what does it look like to you?''

He grabbed my arm and stated crying.

''why would you do this to yourself?''

''Because I can and because I want to''

He tuck of his coat and raped it around my arm.

''thanks but no thank ky, I can see that you care and you want to help but I don't want you to'' I pushed the coat off before I got any more blood on it

I gave him a hug and whispered in his ear ''I'm sorry'' and he pushed away from me and happily ''your forgiven'' still in bad shape himself from yesterday.

I pulled down my sleeve and walked out the bath room as the bell went for brake, I could go out for a fag and I would feel a lot better.

I got out side and joined with my gothic friends.

''are you all right raven?'' Henrietta sead

I was going to pull up my sleeve but hur face already dropped.

''them douche little vampire kids better not be back agen'' she sead in horror

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Ok end chapter there hope you enjoyed it, if you did please review, thank you.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry I have taken so long, mostly to the people that still want to read this.

Sorry…

Chapter 5

''come on let's just go Henrietta, I don't have time for their fucking shit''

''what eve's''

We walked down the hall, I could still feel my arm dripping with a lot of blood, and I needed to get out of here. ''hay I will see you soon I have some stuff to do''-she stop to look at me-''why what have you got to do, I can come and help you if you want'' I did not want her to see my arm she would go mad if she saw it. ''no I'm fine, just leave me alone for once'' sounding a bit snappy. ''fine then, fucking suit yourself'' and walked off in a huff. Ok now I felt like a douche.

Ok. I need to go an clean my arm and make sure no-one see's it while I do it, because I seem to be having some problems with keeping my personal stuff personal lately.

After I had come out from the toilets, I had to go and fine Kyle to give him a formal apology for what I have done. I pulled out my cell phone to look thought my contacts to find his number, their it is, I hit the call button and let the ring tone go for a bit until I heard his voice ''hello'' his voice sounds cracked, propyl from crying some more after seeing my arm, I don't know when Kyle became such a fag, not that I mind, but he seems to cry when anything goes on around him, maybe because his mom is such I bitch and will not let him do anything, like go out and hang out with his friends. Nope, he must stay home and study all the time.

''hello'' I sead back to him feeling a little bit broken.

''what's up, are you ok?''

''I'm fine, I just want to say I so sorry for hitting you like you were my pillow, I was bang out of order doing that that and if there is anything that I can do to make you feel better than all you have got to do is ask'' trying to put some emphasise into my words to help him understand, I was not as clever as him but I had to try.

''I'm sorry to, I did not mean to offend you, I just don't like see you like that, but if that is the way you feel you have to dress, then so be it, I will be no more as a friend to you either way, and the emo style ant to bad looking''

I could not help but giggle at the thought at Kyle in pair of tight skinnies and a BVB t-shirt.

''I see you soon, I might come over to yours tonight if ya want me to'' I could not help it, no matter how much we wanted to be mad at each other we end up loving each other again.

''ok I will have to make my bitch of a mom let you come over, see you later''

I could tell that he was happy that we made up, but now I get to go back to not giving a fuck because it was only lunch time and I still had a couple of lessens left to go to, but I'm going for a fag first.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

That was without a doubt the most stressful and most boring set of lessens I've ever had.

I pick up my phone and give Kyle a call. ''Hay, Are you still up for having me round'' wondering if my dad will even know that I'm gone or even care that I'm not coming home, ow well, fuck him.

''yer, look behind you'' what is he talking about. I twist on my heal ''ow, there you are''. He walks to me and gives me, and I hug him back.

''come on lets go'' he sings.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

''what do you want to do?'' he asks

''don't know, I did not think this far ahead''

He sits on his bed and kind of starts day-dreaming by the look of it. ''hay are you alright?'' I asked, he don't look good.

''yer, I'm fine, just thinking is all''

''what are you thinking about?''

''I'm thinking what you would have done if I had not have found you doing…that…t-to yourself'' pointing at my arm. It came to me as a bit of a shock that he is still upset by that.

''don't worry, I'm fine''

''no you're not'' I could see him tearing up already.

''I am, I promise''

''no! w-what if I had not found you and you did not stop bleeding and you died and no one found you for like a week and your body decomposed and….'' He stopped there and put his hand over his mouth to stop himself toughing up, then ran to the toilet. He left me siting in his room pretty stunned at what he sead, and when I think about it he sounded like tweek for just a minute from the way that he was panicking and what he was saying. But I know that he really does care about me or he would not be thronging up in the rest-room.

He came backing into the room looking a little pick in the face

''you ok'' I asked

''fine'' he moaned

''did you have something off for ya dinner?'' I mocked with a smirk on my face.

''shut the fuck up Stan'' he pouted.

''look I'm fine, I'm just going thought a real hard time right now and I will need all the help I can get'' I looked down

''Stan I have always and always will help in any way that I can'' and he just had to run up to me and give me a stupid ass hug, but I love the kid all the same.

''want to watch a film?''

I just nodded

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I woke to find me and Kyle on his bed. We must have dosed off to sleep, what time is it… 11:30, shit. Well I might as well stay the night now. I look in Kyle's direction to see he had his arm on my crouch.

Dude…

I pushed his hand off. He properly didn't do it on purpose. Or did he? I don't know, I will ask him later.

Looking over to him and thinking, he is without a doubt the nicest and most non-self-centred people in South Park. I say this because you know when you have got a friend for life because a true friend will do anything for you and always want to help, and wrecks then when they can't help. That is a true friend.

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Thanks fa reading and review sexy people:-P


	6. Chapter 6

_I need some for some constructive criticism. Because I hate this story and I am running out of ideas. I need help :-S _

_So if you have any ideas then please shot them my way. Thank you. And if there is anything that you would like me to put into the story, as long as it stays in character, then it's all good._

_Thanks for reading, please comment it, it will be a lot of help to me. xXx :-P_

Chapter 6

I woke up early, I think it was about 6 am, but this is the time that I will normally wake you anyway. I got out of bed and started getting ready for school (I'm fucking dedicated to that school) when I saw a sleepy eyed Jew waking up.

''how do you wake you this early Stan''

He had sat himself up to talk to me. As I looked at him his hair was real messy, I mean like his hair was always a mess but it is what people would call 'bed head' if I was not so attracted to Dylan I would say that he is looking pretty sexy right now. His hair has not changed all that much over the years, it has got more like a strawberry blond than ginger, and his curls are still there but not as curled as they used to be. But overall it was pretty much the same.

''I have always got up this early in the morning Kye'' in a casual voice.

''school don't stat till like 9 am''

''so''

''so… come back to bed for a bit'' I felt my face go a little pink at the way he said that.

''dude, I did not know ya wanted me that bad'' trying to make a joke out of it

''ha fucking ha!'' sticking his tong out at me

''ow come on Kye, now ya just pretending that you don't want it from me ''

''I bet ya want me to like you so you can get in my pants''

''fuck yer'' we both giggled at the comments

''I'm gunna get a shower, do you want to get in first or can I go'' offering the shower. I've don't like getting a shower hear. One time his fucking mom had to walk in, yup I was completely naked; I think I screamed louder than her. Ever since that I have felt uncomfortable.

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We got into school and I went to my locker and got all my books for the first lessen.

''hay Kyle, before you go, I want to speak to you later I have something that I need to talk about with you'' I felt some heat hit my face when I thought about it.

''what do you want to talk about'' looking a little puzzled.

''I will talk later, I have stuff to do''

''ok'' still looking a bit puzzled walking away.

''see ya'' trying to sound casual.

I walked down the hallways trying to find Dylan, where will he be, umm where is he ever fucking morning Stan, Christ I'm lame.

I walked to the alleyway, I heard music playing so I guess he is there, I saw him on his own, (Henrietta, Evan and Gorge must not get hear foe a bit) smoking a cigarette and staring into the vortex of space while listening to what seems to be Blood On The Dance Floor.

''Hay, Are you ok''

''yer I'm fine'' he did not look fine.

''are you-'' he cut me off before I could finish my sentence ''where were you last night''

''I was at my friends, why do you ask''

''well I saw ya dad walking down to street last night, he must have been drunk because he was shout a bunch of shit out loud, he looked pissed I thought he was going to fucking kill you''

Shit. So he did notice I was gone. He's gunna fucking kill me.

''he's gunna kill me Dylan, what do I do'' I start panic, starting to think of all the things he will do to me when I get home. He's gunna hit me again, I don't want him to hit me, it hurts a lot.

''look at me, you are hyperventilating, you need to calm down'' he jumps up and looks into my mascara staining eyes. He looked deep into my eyes, I could feel him and it almost hurt.

''look you are going to be fine, I promise you''

I could feel his warmth as he pulled me into a tight hug, it felt good. I pushed him into the wall and leaned into kiss him and when I touched them a bomb pretty much went off in my stomach. I could not help myself.

''I'm sorry'' when I pulled away my face mush have court fire.

''it's ok'' looking a little shocked by it but happy all the same.

We must have stud in silence for I while.

''do you want a cigarette'' I looked up to see him holding out a fag.

''thanks'' I smiled, he's so cute, Still feeling the pink to the face.

''well at least I know how to stop ya from having a panic attack'' sticking a joke out there witch made me giggle.

We smoked the rest of our fags and went to first lessen

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When it came to lunch time I was kind of thinking weather I should even talk to Kyle about it, naa I won't today, I just hope he forgets. I sat down at a table on my own in the dinner hall to eat in piece, but no guess who has to sit down.

''hay Stan'' Kyle says cheerfully.

''hay'' I mumble into my ham roll.

''so what did you want to talk about''

''ow that, it was nothing'' trying my best to shake It off.

''ow ok, I'm going to chill with Kenny, do ya wanna come with''

''Na, I'm fine you guys go have fun, well as much fun as you can get out of Kenny''

''hehe, ok see ya later Stan'' springing out of his seat and walking off.

Right now all I wanna do is just melt at the thought of Dylan kissing me again, duno what he does to me, but he is doing it well.

_I just want to say that I'm sorry for my last chapters (1,2 and 3 mainly) because they are terrible in grammar and spelling and stuff, it's all a fail, but I'm try to improve and I hope you can at least understand me now._

_If you have __**any**__ problems or there is something that you know that I don't, please can you inform me, thank u :-P love you X-P _


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